Dat ass.

"Hey, did you see that girl's ass? I saw that girl's ass! Did you see it?"

Honestly, it is a bit of a relief to report that no, this was not the first time that a human of the male variety checked me out. Though I would feel a little awkward if I was blatantly ogled by every guy I passed, it is nice to be occasionally noticed. However, this announcement was a little extreme.

My friend and I were walking along the sidewalk at our local outdoor mall, barely noticing as a pack of boys (whose age I estimated to be roughly junior-high) strolled past us. They did not capture my attention until one of them began yelling at the top of his lungs, "Did you see DAT ASS?"

Um.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I was offended. Despite my rather unflattering jeans, my ass is quite lovely, thank you very much. I was more just blindsided by this approach. What was the intended effect? Did this kid hope that I would turn around and respond, "You noticed my ass? Wonderful! Please, I must have you right here on the sidewalk!" Maybe if he was a little older and more attractive... or, you know, maybe not.

That kid is going to get bitch-slapped at least once in his life if he ever says that to a girl who is easily offended. Fortunately for him, I just laughed as I asked my friend, "Did that seriously just come out of his mouth? And was he talking about me? Because these are hardly even my good jeans."